


I Know

by ToWhomItMayConcern



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Smut, Smut and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToWhomItMayConcern/pseuds/ToWhomItMayConcern
Summary: They knew it couldn't last, but at least they have this one last night.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still sick. Send help. Also there's just not enough Javier Pena.

“Oh!” Y/N gasped. “Don’t stop!”

Javier grunted in response, tightening his grip on her hips and thrusting up into her, causing her to let out a deep moan. 

They had a rather complicated relationship. Y/N knew Javier Pena’s job was incredibly dangerous and time consuming; there was defiantly no room for emotions. They both knew from the start that it was a bad idea starting their physical relationship, that it could lead to conflict. But god how could she resist him? The man knew how to sweet talk his way into any bed, and, miraculously, her charms worked on him as well. She remembered their first night, how rough and needy and passionate it was. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other after that. 

“Never novia,” he breathed. “Fuck I could stay in your perfect cunt all day.”

Y/N placed her hands on his chest, raking her nails down as she knew he liked it as she circled her hips, taking him deeper; his pelvic bone was creating an delicious friction against her swelling clit, causing her to practically drool from the overwhelming pleasure. 

Javier absolutely loved it when she rode him. He was usually the dominant one all around, which Y/N loved too, but when she was bouncing on his cock with the perfect view of her body and her beautiful face, Javier couldn’t resist. He was aware in the beginning that eventually he would have to end their trice’s, and he was positive Y/N knew it too, could feel it coming. It was too dangerous, falling in love, especially with the life Javier lived. It was already too late, they fell in love at some point throughout their relationship – he suspected it was when he first stayed the night, months into their new affiliation, and held her till morning – but maybe he could still spare her. 

“Jesus, baby,” Y/N groaned, feeling her lower stomach burn and clench. “I’m almost there. You feel so fucking good.”

That whine nearly did him there. He clenched his jaw, bringing one his hands up her side and to her breast, twisting her pert nipple between his fingers. Her hips jerked in his grip, velvety walls fluttering around his girth. 

“C’mon mi armor,” he whispered huskily, sitting up and biting her sweet spot on her neck. “Cum for me. Cum all over this cock.”

She felt his length twitch inside her, and when the fat head of his dick hit that spongy spot inside her she exploded, clutching his hair with one hand and his back with the other, mouth open with a silent scream. Walls clenching him as she rode out her orgasm, Javier kiss and nicked down her chest and back up into her neck. His hand reached down to her ass, groping it as his hips stuttered. 

“Fuck baby,” he chocked out. “Whe – shit – where do you want it?”

“Inside,” she said pathetically. “Please.”

Javier couldn’t hold it back any longer, letting out a string of curses among growls as he released inside her. Flooded by his warmth and fucked out of her mind, Y/N collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily. Javier wrapped an arm around her as they caught their breaths. He pulled out a cigarette when she finally rolled off him, taking a deep inhale as he watched her clean up. His heart clenched over what the thought of this being their last night together. Y/N’s did too as she put on a t-shirt, trying her damnest to keep the tears at bay; he didn’t need to see them. The decision was already made, and she knew this day was always bound to come. 

Y/N fell asleep on her side of the bed, back turned away from Javier. He didn’t blame her. Quietly getting dressed, he took one last look around her room, her apartment he had gotten so familiar with. He bent down next to her sleeping form, and he swore he could still see the heartbreak etched onto her gorgeous face. It was almost enough for him to change his mind and get back into bed with her. Running his hand over her hair, he smiled softly at her and placed one last kiss on her open lips and forehead.

“Te quiero, Y/N.”


	2. Do You Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't going to be smut but the inner slut in my couldn't help it. And my ass loves a happy ending.

It had been a year since Y/N Y/L/N last saw Javier Pena. The morning after their last night together was the hardest she ever had to wake up to. She thought about all those times Javier had tried to convince her to leave Columbia in favor of going to the US, fear of what his job was going to do to her; Y/N refused and argued every time, this was her home, and she certainly didn’t have the money to support herself across the states. She also refused to take any of his money as well. She probably should have. 

But Javier had made sure to keep his word on them never running into each other. Y/N was happy about that, wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing him or hearing his name. It did not stop her from watching the news though, and was proud to hear about Escobar, despite him not being a part of the capture; she knew he had a big part in making sure it happened. 

A part of Y/N was afraid that he would come back after, as if nothing had ever happened between them. It was hard to sleep at night after, afraid of the chances that he would show up at her door and she would have to tell him everything; be forced to share her secret that she fought to keep well hidden from anyone associated with him. She got a bigger apartment from her new job, not that far from her old one but it was nicer; he didn’t know where it was. 

This night was a calm, peaceful night. Y/N revealed in the peace, the comfort of her home. It was quiet, only the tv playing in the background as she sipped from her coffee. She jumped when she heard a small knock on her door, then froze. She didn’t really have any friends, just coworkers she would talk to and occasionally go out with but never in her apartment, which worked just fine with her. 

Setting the mug down on the coffee table and tip toeing to the door, Y/N almost froze at the spot after another small knock, followed by a curse. She knew that voice. Dreamed of it, wanted to forget it. Hands shaking, she pressed it against the door to look through the peep hole. 

It seemed as though all the air was knocked out of her body. She was trembling yet frozen at the same time. There he was, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, looking nervous and upset. Y/N debated on whether she should let him in, if she should let him hurt her again. She made the split decision once she saw he was about to walk away.

The door flew open, the wind brushing over the curtains in her living room. Javier stopped, eyes immediately drinking her in. Y/N had changed since the year had passed, but still just as beautiful as the night he left her. He could see all the emotions coursing through her eyes; recognition, pain, hurt, grief, love, then anger. Her jaw clenched; fists tight. 

“How did you find me?” Y/N demanded. 

Javier couldn’t help but chuckle, running a hand over his face. He hadn’t changed much either, still just as handsome and cocky as ever. 

“Nice to see you too,” he said with a tight smile. “May I please come in? I just wanna talk.”

Y/N wanted to slam the door in his face. The emotions coursing through her at that moment was so overwhelming and it made her want to scream and run. But at the same time, she understood the entirety of their situation, took blame in it as well as she knew their relationship was going to have to take this turn eventually when it first started. If he just wanted to talk, she can hear him out, just to humor him; she didn’t want to admit that she fucking missed him. 

“You have ten minutes.”

Javier gave her a gracious smile, not wasting any time in stepping into her apartment. Despite the changes, the apartment almost looked completely like her old one, which made him let out a soft smile as he looked around. Y/N watched with her arms crossed, waiting impatiently. 

“No drinks?” Javier joked with a goofy grin. 

Normally she would’ve gone along with the teasing, which would eventually lead to him pounding into her like there was no tomorrow. But this time was different, they were different. He sighed heavily and nodded when she said nothing, only staring at him. 

“Alright, guess I deserve that.”

Y/N still didn’t say anything, and that made him annoyed. 

“You can at least say something, Y/N. Anything.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes and looking up at the ceiling to keep her cool. Truth was, she wasn’t really that angry, more scared than anything. 

“Y/N,” he could see right through her, saw her fear and that frustrated her. He was always so good and reading her. “I understand that you’re scared and pissed off at me. I don’t blame you. I’m not asking you for forgiveness, or to let me back into your life. I just…”

What did he want? Javier had gone through tooth and nail to find out where she was after finding her old complex occupied by someone else. After the capture of Escobar and him being able to come back to the DEA, he had the overwhelming urge to hear her voice again, to see how she was doing after all those months. She was constantly on his mind, and no amount of alcohol and prostitutes would ever make him forget her. The love he carried for her only grew stronger, as did his selfishness, and after having maybe a bit too much to drink and feeling brave and impulsive, he stood at her door with the intent to tell her just how much he loved her. How he couldn’t bare to leave her again and that he wanted to do everything in his power to make it all work. He was willing to go through anything just to be with her. 

“What Javier?” Y/N finally snapped. “What did you want? To hurt me again? To rub it in my face with how well off you’re doing?”

He was shaking his head, tears building up, clogging his throat just as it was to her. He regretted drinking before heading over. 

“N-no,” he cursed himself for how shaky his voice sounded. “I guess I – I wanted to check up on you.”

Y/N bit down harshly on her lips, but he was better at holding his emotions back than she was. 

“And you couldn’t have done that without showing up at my door like nothing ever happened? Jesus Javi.”

Y/N started to tap her foot, struggling to stay quiet. 

“You know why I left Y/N,” he started to argue. It wasn’t a good idea, but emotions were running high. “I warned you from the beginning that it could happen. I did it to protect you.”

“I didn’t need it,” Y/N snarled. “You knew that, and you still let me fall in love with you. I still let you in like everything was fucking normal. I’m done with that. Besides, I’ve been doing just fine without you so you can go now.”

Javier stood there, hands on his hips. He wanted to scream, to kiss her, hold her but held back. He held back because despite of her harsh words he could see how hurt and damaged she was from his departure. Could see that she was holding back as well, possibly for both their sakes. Could see the fear that he would dig his way under her skin again, only to leave a scar in its wake. 

“I can’t… I can’t leave.” His tone was stern, steady now. He gave up so easily before, and he wasn’t about to make that same mistake again. 

Y/N laughed, wiping her tears away roughly. “You can’t leave,” she repeated, voice full of venom, rising. “It wasn’t hard for you to leave then. You can certainly do it now.”

“Yeah I can’t,” he said, matching the volume. “I can’t because I realize that I made a fucking mistake. I shouldn’t have left you like that and I will spend the rest of my life making up for it if that’s what it takes. But I won’t leave unless you really, really want me to. Just… just give me a chance before you make a decision, please!”

Y/N was about to tell him off again when she heard rustling from the room down the hall. Panicking, she practically ran to the door, giving Javier a pleading look. 

“You need to leave,” she begged, shaking. 

“No.”

Y/N groaned, throwing her head back. “Jesus Christ Javier why can’t you just listen-.”

“Because I fucking love you!” 

“Momma?”

They both froze, eyes going wide. Y/N recovered quickly, wiping any traces of tears from her face and closing the door, rushing to the little girl standing at the end of the hallway. She was rubbing her eyes, blinking away the sleep while holding her purple teddy bear; it was one of the first toys Y/N bought for her when she first found out she was pregnant. 

“Hey baby,” Y/N cooed, picking the toddler up. “I’m sorry for waking you up. But it’s time to go back to bed, okay?”

Y/N’s daughter nodded, staring at Javier, who could only gape at the little girl who looked so much like her mother but held traces of him in her as well; he did the mental math as quickly as his sluggish mind would let him. 

Y/N carried the small toddler back to her bedroom, tucking her in and placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Everything’s okay honey,” she assured her. “Just go back to sleep.”

Her eyes were already closed, breaths going steady.

Y/N made sure she was asleep before quietly shutting her door, running a hand through her hair with a heavy sigh. Javier was still standing in the living room, mouth agape and staring intently at her. 

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Is – is she…”

“Yes.”

Javier needed to sit down. He didn’t know how he managed to walk himself to the couch, but once he sat down the room stopped spinning. A daughter. He was a father.

Y/N sat down next to him, giving him his space. His leg was slightly bouncing with anxiety, she wasn’t sure he was even aware of it. It took a few moments before Javier could speak. 

“What’s her name?”

Y/N tried to hold back her smile, but it came out soft as she looked down in her lap. 

“Y/D/N.”

He started to grin, chuckling. “Y/D/N,” he tested out. “She’s beautiful.”

She nodded. They were both crying now, and the fear that Y/N always carried around was evaporating from the look of pure love and adoration from saying their daughters name. 

“Yeah, she is,” Y/N croaked. “Javi-.”

“Don’t,” Javier stopped her. “I… I get it. I do. I’m sure none of it easy at all.”

He seemed to be struggling with his next words, but she waited patiently, eyeing him carefully. 

“I’m not… good with any of this,” he started slowly. “But I want to try, Y/N. I want to try for you, and with you. I want to try for our child.”

Y/N could hear the sincerity in his voice. The regret of not telling Javier about his child haunted her, but seeing him there now, looking at her and their daughter like they were the only lights in his life; it made her feel hope. 

“I really am sorry for not telling you,” she whispered, looking him in his beautiful dark eyes now. “I regret that decision every day. But I – um, I’ve shown her pictures of you. She’s too young to really grasp it now but I tell her all the time that you’re her daddy.”

Javier smiled at the last part, unconsciously scooting closer to her. Y/N relaxed at the heat his body brought. 

“But if you’re serious about this Javier then I need to really fully commit to this. Not just for my sake, but for hers. I know your job is demanding and I’m willing to work with you on that, but I can’t have you in and out of her life. I catch any signs of it and you’ll never see us again.”

“Of course,” he chirped, nodding his head feverishly as placed his hands over hers. “I knew it was going to take time. And you and I… we’ll move to the states, somewhere nice and safe for her. Meet me family, have a nice house… And I meant what I said earlier. I love you with my entire fucking being, and I never stopped loving you.”

Y/N was crying again, but this time she did nothing to stop it. Instead she nodded her head. 

“I never stopped loving you too.”

Javier let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. They stared into each other’s eyes, inching closer and closer until their lips were barely touching. 

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed against her open mouth. 

She answered by crashing her lips into his. He responded just as eagerly, cupping her face. The kiss quickly intensified, and Javier pulled away with a groan, both of them panting. 

“Y/N-.”

“I want to,” she breathed. “It’s okay.”

It was probably a bad idea to move this quickly. But she couldn’t find it in her to care. He was back, he still loved her, he wanted to stay, wanted to try being a family together. She had tried so hard to forget him completely, even during the pregnancy, but Y/N knew she never could. 

Javier placed his body over hers as she laid back on the couch, tongues dancing as they tore the others clothes off. 

“Wait!” Javier gasped, cursing when bit down at his sweet spot on his neck, nibbling at the skin. “Y/D/N…”

“She’ll be fine,” Y/N gasped, rolling her hips over his. “We just have to be quiet.”

Javier placed kisses down her chest, enveloping one of her perk nipples into his mouth; Y/N had to bite down on her lip to stop the moan building in her. He bit down on her hip, wasting no time in placing an arm over her stomach to keep her still as he sucked on her clit. 

“Jesus amor,” she gasped quietly. 

Licking over her slit, he curled two thick fingers inside her, attaching his lips to her clit again. It didn’t take long at all for her to come; she hadn’t been with another since Javier left. 

“Shit!” Javier groaned when she wrapped her hand around his pulsing cock, swiping a thumb over his leaking tip. “Y/N – fuck – I don’t, I didn’t bring a condom.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. “Wow. Javier Pena unprepared. You really have changed.”

Javier rolled his eyes, laughing with her. “Yeah yeah, laugh it up.”

She cupped his face to kiss him, rolling her hips so his cock brushed against her leaking slit.

“I got on the pill after the pregnancy.”

His dark brown eyes stared intensely into hers before giving her a rough kiss that clashed teeth, lining himself up at her entrance. 

He held her close as he pushed into her, kissing her moans away. He moved slowly, gently, cradling her in his arms and placing kisses over any inch of skin he could reach. 

“Te quiero,” he huffed and groaned in her ear. Y/N trembled underneath him, both already so close to their peaks. 

“Eres tan hermosa,” he continued, grunting when her nails dug into his back. “Estoy tan orgulloso de ti – fuck – I’m close baby.”

Y/N only nodded, matching his rhythm the best she could. He placed his forehead against hers as he sped up, trying his best to stay quiet. One of her hands travelled down to his ass, gripping it as to pull him closer to her. She received a moan and a whimper, followed by his hand running in between their bodies to find her swollen clit. 

“God Javi,” Y/N whined. “Right there! Keep going.” She begged. 

It only took a few more thrusts to send them both over the edge, using a deep and passionate kiss to muffle their screams. She held him to her closely as they settled, running her fingers through his hair as he mumbled praises into her skin. 

Y/N pondered their future as they laid entwined. She thought of the man she loved with all of her heart and soul and the precious life they created. In the morning, she would wake up to hushed babbles and giggles and see the father of her child, the love of her life, sitting at the dining room table with their daughter, talking and laughing with her as they ate their breakfast; a plate would be waiting for her as well, and he would greet her with a warm smile.


End file.
